Krampus

Young Max (Emjay Anthony) is barely hanging on to the belief in Santa Claus and the magic of Christmas. However, the actions of his dysfunctional and insensitive family are the final straw this year, and he tears up his letter to Santa and gives up on hope for the traditional family holiday he used to know. Those actions unknowingly unleash the wrath of Krampus: a demonic force of ancient evil intent on punishing non-believers. A bizarre blizzard knocks out any contact from the outside world and this family is targeted by Krampus and his evil minions to pay for their lack of festiveness. Only Max's Grandmother "Omi" seems to know what is really happening and tries to warn the family. But is it too late?

Cast


Adam Scott  as Tom
Toni Collette as Sarah
David Koechner  as Howard
Allison Tolman  as Linda
Conchata Ferrell as Aunt Dorothy
Emjay Anthony as Max
Stefania LaVie Owen as Beth
Krista Stadler as Omi

Who will like this:

As a  "not too scary/not gory/not too funny" kind of movie, it makes for a good date movie. Something that couples in a relationship who just want to get out of the house or young dating sweethearts can go see. It's in the same category as the movie "Drag me to Hell".

Phantom Thoughts

I will start off by saying this: the idea of making a movie about the German mythology of "Krampus" who is supposed to be the shadow of Santa Claus, is intriguing to say the least. It has all the makings of telling a good horror story that is set on such a joyful time of year.

This is not that movie. In fact, I have no idea what they were thinking when the studio put this thing together. As a horror movie, there were very little scares. There was some build up to set up for a good scare, but no pay off. There was no gore or even the implication of gore that makes a good horror movie successful. The funny moments to break the tension was not very humorous and extremely few and far between. Michael Dougherty, who directed and co-wrote this movie obviously just didn't know what he was doing. Apparently, Legendary Studios didn't take heed on his OTHER holiday "horror" movie "Trick 'r' Treat" that never even made it to theaters and was released on video.

Krampus' helpers were not to menacing either. Aside from the Jack-in-the-Box, which had good potential, the killer, badly CGI-ed Gingerbread Men, the Teddy Bear and the "I-wanna-be-as-scary-as-Annabelle-but-I'm-not" Angel were just laughable. There were mysterious, creepy snowmen that appeared on the front lawn of the family's house that were never explained, nor were they ever a threat. The Krampus elves were nothing more than left over Mardi Gras masks worn by cloaked characters who didn't add any depth either.

The main issue I had also was....I was ROOTING for Krampus. The family members had no redeeming qualities and at no point did I feel bad that they were being picked off one by one. In fact, whenever someone survived an attack, I was disappointed. Usually if you start off with assholes who are the main focus of a movie, they go through an awakening to see the error of their ways and make you want them to be saved to make things right. Unfortunately, the only ones I had any feeling of wanting to save was the little boy Max and his Grandmother "Oni". I even wanted the obligatory baby they threw in there to be an appetizer for the monsters coming to get them.

But the biggest disappointment was Krampus himself. There are plenty of reference materials to draw from to bring this character to life. The silhouette seen at first was promising, the horns sprouting out from a slumped over cloaked figure and draped in chains down to his hooves was impressive. But when the face of evil was finally revealed....well....it can only be described as a demented Santa who was suffering the effects of a stroke. The gaping mouth was a bit disturbing at first glance, but as it continues to stay open the rest of the movie, just makes it look like a guy in a mask.

The ending is purposely confusing as well. It's suppose to make you think and try to come up with what "really" happened. But at that point, I just didn't care anymore. But I'll save you the trouble: sometimes what you wish for becomes your own personal Hell. There. Now you don't have to see it.

Until next time, I'll see you in the center seat!

Vacation

Rusty Griswold is all grown up with a family of his own. But that family is in a rut and he wants to shake them out of it. In order to bring them closer together, he comes up with the idea of driving across country to Walley World, like his Father did when he was a boy. Things don't go exactly according to plan, of course. And the trip has as many detours as it does cameos. The movie has the curious distinction of simultaneously being a sequel (the prior films are acknowledged and referenced), a remake (the plot and some scenes are the same as or very similar to those of the earlier film) and a reboot (new film in a dormant franchise with a new cast). 

Cast

Ed Helms as Rusty Griswold
Christina Applegate as Debbie Griswold
Leslie Mann as Audrey Griswold-Crandall
Chris Hemsworth as Stone Crandall
Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo as Ellen Griswold
Skyler Gisondo as James Griswold
Steele Stebbins as Kevin Griswold

Who will like this movie

Along the fans of the original "Vacation" movie, I believe that anyone who enjoys the recent wave of adult comedies such as "The Hangover" and "Bridesmaids"  will find this one good for a few laughs as well.

Phantom Thoughts

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not really a big fan of reboots or remakes....with very few exceptions. However, as I stated in the summary, "Vacation" is all these things, and yet none at the same time. But for me personally, I view this as more of a sequel than anything else. It was a very risky move. If it was too similar to the first movie, it would be seen as a poor knock off, too much of a deviation, and it would be discounted as not really part of the series. But in this Phantom's humble opinion, they got it right. And in many different levels as well.

Let's start with the cast. Ed Helms plays grown up Rusty perfectly. (He is the sixth actor to portray this character)  You can see the apple does not fall far from the tree as there is a bit of his Father, Clark, in the performance, but not so much so that he's not his own man as well.  Christina Applegate's time growing up on the TV comedy "Married with Children" proves she learned a lot about comedic timing. If she isn't delivering a punchline, she is setting one up in genius fashion. Skyler Gisondo and Steele Stebbins are not just throw away roles as Rusty and Debbie's boys, but rather real, fleshed out characters. And I will say this: if you think women swooned over Chris Hemsworth when he takes his shirt off as "Thor", they will be fainting in the aisles on what he shows off here.

The plot itself does a great job of balancing old and new too. There were throwbacks to some of the original story and gags used while giving it's own, newer spin on it. Some of you may have already seen the trailer that shows the now classic scene with Christie Brinkley in the Ferrari revamped for this version. There's a couple more enjoyable instances like that.

Now for some things you may or may not know: (FYI- this is the point where the SPOILERS start) The goal for Rusty is to take his family on the fictitious new rollercoaster "The Velociraptor" in the fictitious amusement park of Walley World. The cast filmed this scene on an actual rollercoaster, as they did in the original. But for this one, they used Six Flags Magic Mountain on what I believe to be Revolution. One of the directors, John Francis Daley plays the ride operator in the movie.

Christina Applegate has an unusual connection to the Vacation Series. During the opening credits of the show she made her debut on: "Married with Children" there was stock footage of Chicago used, which included a shot of the Griswold Truckster station wagon from the original movie.

The opening date for this "Vacation" was moved to July 29th because that is the 32nd anniversary of the release of the original "Vacation".  And like that one, this one also has photos during the credits at the end. But the added (very comedicly well done) real vacation photos at the beginning of the credits included one of the late John Hughes who wrote "Vacation", "European Vacation" and "Christmas Vacation".

There were so many things that was working against pulling this one off, but I think the risk was worth the reward. It worked. And it worked well.......and funny.

Until next time, see you in the center seat.

Minions

Where do the Minions from the "Despicable Me" movies come from? Here is the answer. We follow the yellow-gibberish speaking blobs from single cell organisms through evolution and then there decade long search for a villain to serve. After multiple failures in this goal, they go into hiding, where eventually they fall into a deep depression. One Minion named Kevin comes up with a plan to find a new villain to follow. He takes Stuart and Bob with him on his quest. The year now is 1968 and after going to Villain-Con in Orlando, they decide that the greatest villainess, Scarlett Overkill (Sandra Bullock) will be their new master. She takes them to England to pull off the greatest caper of all time. But will it all go according to plan? Does it ever when the Minions are involved?

Cast

Pierre Coffin as Kevin, Stuart, Bob and the Minions
Sandra Bullock as Scarlet Overkill
Jon Hamm as Herb Overkill
Michael Keaton as Walter Nelson
Allison Janney as Madge Nelson
Geoffrey Rush as the Narrator



Who will like this:

A family film that young kids will especially like. Moms and women over 30 are drawn to the cute little buggers for some reason. So let Mom take the kids while Dad goes to see Terminator Genisys.


Phantom Thoughts

I happen to like the Minions. I thought they were a great form of amusement in the "Despicable Me" movies. But they are, in fact, just supporting players. When you go about making a movie with them in the staring roles, it proves to be difficult. It's like making a movie starring the Dozers from Fraggle Rock. Or the Jawas from Star Wars. Nice additions, but not the main focus.

So in order to move the story along, you add in some English speaking characters. Because really....there's only so much of a cute made-up language you can take. BTW- the "minion-ese" is taken from several different languages, including American, Spanish, French, Indonesian and Hebrew, to name a few. So enter in Scarlett Overkill and her inventor husband Herb, voiced by Sandra Bullock and Jon Hamm. This is Bullock's first role as a bad guy and plays the part of the armed-rocket-powered-dress-wearing Super Villain pretty well. She's no Gru, of course, but being that she's in virgin territory, we'll cut her a break.

There were a few things I did find interesting though. Kevin in this picture was a bit different from the minion Kevin in the first movie. Bob's two different colored eyes were not present in the original or even the trailer for this one. And all three minions were designed to resemble Gru's daughters: Margo, Agnes and Edith.

The Villain-Con Expo was done in a very Comic-Con fashion, down to the main event being held in "Hall H" just like all the big panels of the San Diego Comic Con. In the audience we catch a glimpse of Gargamel from the "Smurfs". As a nice tie-in as well, in the background on the Con vendor scene, we see a young Gru and his Mother being shown a new invention...the Freeze Ray!

Possibly lost on most viewers were the references to Mozart's opera The Magic Flute scattered throughout the movie. Not so lost though, was Stuart playing Van Halen's "Eruption" on the guitar. (A good 10 years before Eddie played it).

But it was a fun movie. Not as good as the originals, but not bad. Probably worth waiting to watch it at home and not necessarily a movie you HAVE to see this Summer. But if Mom needs to get the kids out of the house during Summer Break, then by all means, go for it.

Until next time, see you in the center seat. 

Jurassic World

It's 22 years after the events that"Jurassic Park" take place, and the park is finally open and working for 10 years under the new name "Jurassic World". Claire Dearing, the parks' operation manager, has her two nephews visit for the weekend. But she is too busy to spend time with them and gives her assistant the job of looking after them as they are given passes to anywhere in the park. Her main concern is convincing investors to fund the new project they are working on. After 10 years, the public has become bored with just seeing real dinosaurs and so the genetics department has created a new, more impressive one....one that has never existed before now.
   After seeing this new creature, the owner of Jurassic World, Simon Masrani tells Claire to consult with the Raptor wrangler in the park, Owen Grady. Owen is skeptical of the care of the new dinosaur and asks what they used to create it. But Claire is tight lipped on the matter. As it turns out, his concerns are well founded as the creature escapes.

Cast

Chris Pratt as Owen Grady

Bryce Dallas Howard as Claire Dearing

Nick Robinson as Zach Mitchell

Ty Simpkins as Gray Mitchell

Vincent D'Onofrio as Vic Hoskins

Irrfan Khan as Simon Masrani

Omar Sy as Barry

B.D. Wong as Dr. Henry Wu

Jake Johnson as Lowery Cruthers

Who will like this:

Young parents, who have become parents about 10 years ago or so, will want to bring their children to experience their own Jurassic Park memories and create new ones for themselves. Jurassic World is the Summer blockbuster movie in every definition of the word. If you need to be entertained in the air-conditioned theater for a few hours, you can buy your ticket at the door.


Phantom Thoughts

Have you seen the other 3 Jurassic Park movies? Yeah? Ok.....then you don't need to see this one.
"But, Phantom..", you say, "aren't you being a bit harsh? This is not a reboot, it takes place AFTER the events of Jurassic Park."  No. I'm not. Watching this movie, they took the ENTIRE story from the previous ones. And I do mean everything.  Let's go down the list:
- You've got the head of Jurassic World welcoming in her two nephews = Hammond welcoming in his two Grandkids (JP1)
- Owen Grady is the "expert" who is the voice of reason = an amalgamation of Dr. Grant and Ian Malcolm (JP1-3)
- "evil" InGen corporation is motivated by greed and makes things worse instead of better (JP2)
- Although he doesn't create the situation like Wayne Knight did, Vincent D'Onofrio's decisions to prove his theory that the dinosaurs can be used as a military weapon causes even more chaos ( JP1)
 * side note: this is also the same running theme of the Alien movies with the Weyland Industries Corporation
- The couple of the kids on the island are getting a divorce = The Kirby's (JP3)
- The kids find themselves being attacked in an island vehicle by the BIG dino = (JP1)
- The Pteranodons are freed from their "birdcage" and attack the visitors = (JP3)
- The T-Rex is lured by a flare by Claire = Same scene with Dr. Grant and Ian Malcolm (JP1)
I literally can go on and on. I mean, they even end up in the original building from the first movie which has been abandoned. So I think the point was to just make a new version of the old movies. They figured that if they put in all the same elements that made the originals so popular, they would get the same results. But it felt forced. The pacing was off. The way the tension built to a crescendo in the first one was missing in this one.

There is a bright side to all this. I have long been an admirer of movies that give nods the original inspiration, if there is one. They are called "Easter Eggs" in popular circles. And because they wanted SO much to connect to the original movies in this one, Jurassic World is filled with them. From "Mr. DNA" to a statue of Hammond himself, there are many obvious (and not so obvious. Did you see Ian Malcom's book: "God Creates Dinosaurs" in the film.....twice?) little gems to find.  And the only returning character from the original, B.D. Wong as Dr. Henry Wu, gives a little "Fuck you" to everyone who complained that the dinosaurs in all these movies don't look (or sometimes act) like ACTUAL dinosaurs would.  When questioned why he would spice different animals together to make Indominus Rex, he says "because we've always done it that way. To fill the holes in the DNA." Duh. Doesn't anyone remember the South African tree frogs? "Life finds a way".

And here's the biggest SPOILER ALERT. I mean, if you're still reading this, you probably don't much care about spoilers, but I'll alert you anyway. The biggest "reveal" toward the end....the big secret of what did they splice together to make this new creature....comes out. I don't know about you, but I kinda guessed right away the thing had Velociraptor in it. It looked like a Raptor, it hunted like a Raptor and it was smart like a Raptor. Hell, they even had a shot of it's eye peering through the bushes at you like in JP1! If that was their idea of keeping a secret, no one better tell the writers what's really in Area 51.

Also, the way the villain, Indominus Rex, was finally brought down was kinda anti-climatic. Yes, the fight scene with it and T-Rex and the Raptors was good, but I felt a bit jipped that at the climax of the fight, Mosasaur comes out of nowhere and chomps him down.

Finally, I have to mention this. I saw this in the trailers and was sickened by it and after watching the actual movie, it didn't ease my mind much. We see one of the kids asking Chris Pratt who is the "Alpha" of the Velociraptors. To which he replies: "You're looking at him." Riiiiiight. So you're saying that the most vicious, deadly and SMARTEST of all the dinosaurs as depicted in all the Jurassic movies including this one, chose soft, pink, chewy, yummy, no-claws-or-sharp-teeth having Star Lord as their leader? Are you fucking kidding me? That's like me and 3 of my friends listening to a piece of bacon for advice. And although it's not as bad as I had first imagined it (there are still glimpses of the ferociousness we know the Raptors to be) it's still laughable.

But my 14 year old daughter liked it. It broke all kinds of records at the box office. I spent a few hours of a very humid day in an air conditioned theater. Bryce Dallas Howard is nice to look at. So I guess it wasn't a total waste of my time.

Until next time, see you in the center seat.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

The second installment of the Marvel "team up" movie bringing together the World's mightiest superheroes. In this one, Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man, and the gentle side of The Hulk, Dr. Bruce Banner, unknowingly create Ultron, an AI program that was supposed to be a program for World peace. As Ultron becomes more self-aware, he decides that in order to save humanity, he must destroy it. Now it is up to The Avengers to stop him before he succeeds.

Cast

Robert Downey Jr. ... Tony Stark / Iron Man
Chris Hemsworth ... Thor 
Mark Ruffalo ... Bruce Banner / Hulk
Chris Evans ... Steve Rogers / Captain America 
Scarlett Johansson  ...  Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow 
Jeremy Renner  ...  Clint Barton / Hawkeye 
James Spader  ...  Ultron 
Samuel L. Jackson  ...  Nick Fury 
Don Cheadle  ...  James Rhodes / War Machine 
Aaron Taylor-Johnson  ...  Pietro Maximoff / Quicksilver 
Elizabeth Olsen  ...  Wanda Maximoff / Scarlet Witch 
Paul Bettany  ...  Jarvis / Vision 

Who will like this:

The easy answer, obviously is anyone who has seen any of the 10 previous Marvel movies, including the first Avengers movie. However, due to the increase in violence, action and even language to some degree, I may not recommend this to a very young viewers. Hence the PG-13 rating. It is also is not a movie for the casual fan as was the case for the last one. The stronger follower of the movies and/or comics will get more out of it than others will

Phantom Thoughts

Well....here it is. Finally the movie we've been waiting for since the last end credit scene from the last Avengers movie in 2012. You've gone through Marvel's "Phase 2" of movies like Iron Man 3, Captain America: Winter Soldier and maybe even started watching Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D. and Agent Carter on TV in anticipation for this....the BIG PAYOFF! Ummmm......not so much.

You know how when you start a new job, and you are told how much you will be making and think to yourself "OK. That's sounds pretty good". But after you get that first paycheck, you realize that "Wow. After taxes, insurance and....hey,what's this OASDI thing? " You didn't end up with as much as you expected? Yeah. It's kinda like that.

Now don't get me wrong. That's not to say it wasn't good, it just didn't live up to expectations and hype. But anything that is the magnitude of Avengers: Age of Ultron rarely does. The most common criticism I've heard about this movie is that it falls into the same pit a lot of other Superhero movies suffer from in the past: too many characters. And they're right....to a point. The difference is Joss Whedon. His storytelling skills juggle the characters so effortlessly that each one is handled individually without dropping any one of them or having them knock into each other. And while the amount of players do not cause the film to crash and burn, it doesn't help much either.

James Spader's mesmerizing voice breathes incredible life into the sentient robot Ultron, but Ultron's development into the villain he is supposed to be is not quite as fleshed out as he is. We are introduced to "The Twins" that we met at the end of Captain America: Winter Soldier, who become Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, but they are also under-utilized. There is a love story that seems to be thrown in out of nowhere between Banner and  Romanoff that, although an interesting side plot, probably could have been avoided.

BIG SPOILERS AHEAD--------

So in the movie, Ultron is basically created by a mix of Tony Stark's attempt to create an AI program for World peace, mix in the mystical Mind Stone from Loki's scepter in the last Avengers and finally taking over most of Iron Man's JARVIS system. In the comics, Ultron is created by Hank Pym from Ant Man. And with THAT movie set to come out later this year, it seems like a missed opportunity to introduce it. Then again, that would mean adding even more characters to an otherwise overcrowded credit list so I can forgive that. On the other hand, Ultron created Vision in a very similar way to the comics, enough to satisfy the die hard fans, I would assume.  Bringing Vision to life was also a saving grace for actor Paul Bettany , who was the voice of JARVIS in the previous Iron Man movies. Since JARVIS "died" and was replaced by FRIDAY at the end of the movie, being on screen to act as Vision is a step up for Bettany. (He also has the second awesome Thor's hammer: Mjölnir moment in this movie)

One thing that DID live up to the hype, was the Hulk vs. HulkBuster Iron Man fight. First off, I love the fact that the pod carring the suit and it's replacement parts is called "Veronica", an in-joke based on the Archie comics. Archie Andrews is always torn between the two women that love him, Betty and Veronica. Banner already had a girlfriend, Betty Ross. And seeing the Hulk get his payback for one of the funnier moments in the original Avengers was welcome nod as well.

But the most DISappointing thing about AOU is....no end credits scene! This is one thing that Marvel movies are famous for (next to Stan Lee's almost guaranteed cameo, which might I add, was one of his best ever! Marvel geeks twitched in their seats when he gave his famous sign off line "Excelsior! ") although there were rumors and a what we now know to be a faked Spiderman end credits scene talked about, I was disappointed not to find anything there.

It was a wild ride for your senses. And not the typical fun for a few hours fare Marvel usually dishes out. It's one that will have to be seen more than once to catch and follow everything that happens. And although I wouldn't say it was better than the first one, it wasn't that much worse either. There were a LOT of things to find and see. Much too much to get into here. Maybe too much for one movie as I have already pointed out. Still, I will watch it again....and again to catch everything.

Until next time, see you in the center seat!